![]() ![]() Paul and I had just gone through the John Regier counseling material, and Paul once again seemed to not have any problems, so I assumed I was the whole problem. After 13 years of frustration in my marriage, I began to become desperate. I had fasted for Paul in the past, but now the focus was on my own life. The story of my husband Paul coming clean really starts with me fasting. Taking your eyes off how you have been wronged and realizing your own sin will cast you on Jesus, your only hope. A key to your husband finding brokenness is you finding it in your own life. We need to give up on tying to change anyone except ourselves. They need to be fasting for God to change them. Many times I meet women who say they are fasting for God to change their husbands, and I tell them that this focus is wrong. She needed a plan! She needed to hear God’s voice about what she needed to do. “Fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day: I also and my maidens will fast likewise and so will I go in unto the king” (Esther 4:16).Įsther did not ask the people to fast for her ungodly husband, and she did not fast for him. This was no wimpy fast-it was a fast of three days. When faced with the plans for the destruction of her people, Esther began a fast herself and called for a fast among her people. These are concepts that a wife should consider when responding to a husband who does ungodly things and when facing the needs of a family about to be destroyed. There are a number of things that Esther and her cousin Mordecai did in response to the situation that God used to bring freedom to their people. Faith prevailed-a faith strong enough to carry out the plan that God gave her. Now, do I think that Esther didn’t worry at all? I’m sure that as a human being and as a woman who cared for her family, she did struggle with these feelings and concerns-but they didn’t prevail in her heart. Esther sought God with all her heart and with an attitude of total surrender to God’s will, whatever the outcome. This solution didn’t come from worry and fret it came from days of fasting and seeking God’s help. What could Esther do in this situation? Was she hopeless? Did she just sit back and hope that somehow God would change her husband’s heart? No, she devised a Godly plan of action. They’re married to men who are living ungodly lives and who are willing to allow their family to be destroyed while they sit back and do nothing. This situation is really what most of the women who ask this question are facing. He was willing to allow her whole family to be destroyed. Queen Esther was married to a very ungodly man. I often direct these women to read the Book of Esther and to see her life as an example to follow in this situation. He is not willing to change, and his wife wonders what she can do. They are all at different points in the process, and some of them are frustrated because there is a problem in their marriage and their husband is failing morally, but he is not moved to brokenness and repentance over his sin. Through our counseling ministry, I have spoken with countless women about their family’s journey to moral freedom. ![]()
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